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1/11/2018 10:22:15 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,919)
Clinton, TN
34, joined May. 2013


When you're a hardcore hermit, you work 12 to 14 hours a day, you like someone - but are too shy to even talk to them, and all your family and friends think you fell off their planet - due to not answering their calls?

Ugh, when does it end?

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1/11/2018 10:26:38 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
My_Tenth
New South Wales
Australia
41, joined Nov. 2017


I like living like that

I once approached someone and let's just say
when you do that it opens up many channels for
lies and nasty games.

But in saying the above it was online so I'm
sure it's better to approach in the real world.

1/12/2018 12:56:02 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
66, joined Oct. 2009


Then, OPIE, you wind up like Driver, literally. Instead of hating on men agree to a few dates with some nice guys and see what happens.

1/12/2018 12:58:16 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
My_Tenth
New South Wales
Australia
41, joined Nov. 2017


Quote from driver406:
Then, OPIE, you wind up like Driver, literally. Instead of hating on men agree to a few dates with some nice guys and see what happens.


She didn't say she hates blokes

1/12/2018 1:26:32 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

stratus55
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,947)
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017


shy..what a silly word,sure you are..you only have maybe one or two vague pics..my deceased wife helped break me on ...shy..crap.and also as i got to be a better lead guitar player,an pleasin people all over atlanta area,plus im tall an hansome,and i know how to treat women right..shy....please hunny..;let it go..i been tryin to get you to say ...hello...for a couple months,your only hurtin your self........it ends with you ..drivin out the chicken an shy junk...im talkin bout the woman in the mirror,i know she looks good.............your mirror...

1/12/2018 5:26:48 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


When you become comfortable with it. As you are mentioning it. You're not.

So, maybe start of gently with a smile. Build up to a hello...

1/12/2018 6:03:14 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,366)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Hermits don't have friends lol.

1/12/2018 6:19:10 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
little_spoon
Over 2,000 Posts (2,320)
Toronto, ON
36, joined Aug. 2017


U just gotta force yourself. Fake it til you make it sort of deal.

1/12/2018 7:13:47 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,524)
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017


Quote from lareveur:
When you're a hardcore hermit, you work 12 to 14 hours a day, you like someone - but are too shy to even talk to them, and all your family and friends think you fell off their planet - due to not answering their calls?

Ugh, when does it end?


Usually around the time you stop bathing and buy multiple cats....little spoon knows.



[Edited 1/12/2018 7:14:06 AM ]

1/12/2018 7:13:54 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
_april67
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,406)
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2017


Quote from anglicus_femina:
When you become comfortable with it. As you are mentioning it. You're not.

So, maybe start of gently with a smile. Build up to a hello...



1/12/2018 7:18:16 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
My_Tenth
New South Wales
Australia
41, joined Nov. 2017


anglicus_femina: When you become comfortable with it. As you are mentioning it. You're not.

So, maybe start of gently with a smile. Build up to a hello...


What does she do if he just say's hi and leaves it at that?

1/12/2018 7:37:23 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


Quote from My_Tenth:
anglicus_femina: When you become comfortable with it. As you are mentioning it. You're not.

So, maybe start of gently with a smile. Build up to a hello...


What does she do if he just say's hi and leaves it at that?


It's a start to helping herself to get where she wants to go. Nothing is promised but the couragous try... hopefully even a hi to a stranger will help with this kinda situation later. Otherwise it will always be the same UGh.

1/12/2018 8:10:31 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


For me, it would end by not working 12 to 14 hours a day.

I never would want to put that long into working a job.

The rest is easy to change, after you change that.

1/12/2018 8:13:20 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

easttowest72
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (13,988)
Bremen, GA
46, joined Sep. 2014


Guys normally do the asking. So if he hasn't asked you out, he probably isn't interested. You should move on. Invest some of the money you're making from the overtime. Buy a home or something, while interest rates are still low.

1/12/2018 8:22:34 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,524)
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017


Lavie, I've told you before you can come live with with me rent free as long as you cook clean and f**k...and make sure you always look good.

1/12/2018 9:29:37 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
sigier
Henderson, KY
46, joined Apr. 2010


Quote from lareveur:
When you're a hardcore hermit, you work 12 to 14 hours a day, you like someone - but are too shy to even talk to them, and all your family and friends think you fell off their planet - due to not answering their calls?

Ugh, when does it end?


It ends when you finally realise what you want most and make the proper adjustments to acquire it.

1/12/2018 11:09:21 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,366)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Tell them you were sick lol

1/12/2018 1:21:13 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

M4mischief
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,214)
Grand Prairie, TX
100, joined May. 2016


It ends when you realize you are in control of your life and you stop letting fear control you instead...in other words it ends when you decide to do something about it and not a moment before...

1/12/2018 1:35:08 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
uncle_bulgaria
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,524)
Houston, TX
50, joined Apr. 2017


So when does it start?

1/12/2018 2:05:22 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
66, joined Oct. 2009


Quote from My_Tenth:
She didn't say she hates blokes


No she didn't. The point is that if she works all the time and never gets out she never has time for a relationship, is legitimately too tired to go out. Then you reach a point where the most desirable people are shacking up or getting married and (In theory) aren't available anymore. Finally you hit middle age and have gained 20 30 pounds of more, your looks are shot and the ol body starts going to pot and no one is looking for a relationship. Then you wind up alone on DH like Driver which is a pretty pathetic fate. She ought to make an effort to get out, meet people, actually go on a date when asked and see what happens, stop wasting her time in this shit hole even if it is just for the forums. She's young enough to find someone good who actually has a job and some sense if she'll give him a chance. It may be too late for me, but it isn't for her. The point is she should seize her opportunity while she still can. It has nothing at all to do with whether or not she hates guys. Even if she does she ought to find a lesbo of her own.

1/12/2018 3:56:40 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
My_Tenth
New South Wales
Australia
41, joined Nov. 2017


Quote from driver406:
No she didn't. The point is that if she works all the time and never gets out she never has time for a relationship, is legitimately too tired to go out. Then you reach a point where the most desirable people are shacking up or getting married and (In theory) aren't available anymore. Finally you hit middle age and have gained 20 30 pounds of more, your looks are shot and the ol body starts going to pot and no one is looking for a relationship. Then you wind up alone on DH like Driver which is a pretty pathetic fate. She ought to make an effort to get out, meet people, actually go on a date when asked and see what happens, stop wasting her time in this shit hole even if it is just for the forums. She's young enough to find someone good who actually has a job and some sense if she'll give him a chance. It may be too late for me, but it isn't for her. The point is she should seize her opportunity while she still can. It has nothing at all to do with whether or not she hates guys. Even if she does she ought to find a lesbo of her own.



I don't understand how people become lonely in the first place
or feel a need to be involved with anyone.

I'm asked out mainly from the gym but I don't want too because
I don't want to go through having emotional feelings I don't
want to feel anything if my decisions in the past have stopped
me from a good thing then I can live with that.

My mates and I go to watch live bands we have the best times and
yes I dance with blokes but when it comes to them sitting beside
me mentioning numbers I become aloof maybe it's a wall I don't know.

Blokes will always be on this earth she has plenty of time.

1/12/2018 4:26:30 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (98,632)
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013


Quote from lareveur:
When you're a hardcore hermit, you work 12 to 14 hours a day, you like someone - but are too shy to even talk to them, and all your family and friends think you fell off their planet - due to not answering their calls?

Ugh, when does it end?



Well lareveur, Why don’t you answer your family or friends calls? And with you being shy, you gotta know your strength and don’t advertised your shyness, never feel rejected

1/12/2018 4:29:18 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
My_Tenth
New South Wales
Australia
41, joined Nov. 2017


lareveur your not shy on dh so why are you shy in the real world?

1/12/2018 6:45:06 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


OP...to be honest after reading enough of your threads, you sound like someone who has to have someone romantically entangled in your life, like all the time.

One relation to another, as soon as one ends...find another...etc.

Enough of us has been there I suppose too....but its great to get to the point that's not necessary and you just enjoy life as is, till a right person just comes along...whenever.

The other thing is...if a person works that much, they really don't have the time for a relation, too many compromises about not being able to be together enough with enough quality time.

1/12/2018 10:45:35 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

lucky_1million
Over 2,000 Posts (2,166)
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013


"I really believe that adversity is a path to opportunity. But sometimes it's difficult in the moment to see that God has a bigger vision for the future than you can grasp. It may be years before you can look back and truly appreciate the journey God has taken you on. And usually, it's one you wouldn't have chose.....closed doors mean that God will open something else. A window, maybe a back door. Sometimes you just have to look hard for that opening" - Drew Brees Coming Back Stronger: Unleashing the Hidden Power of Adversity



Oh... if the Saints win on Sunday against the Vikings, it will get better for someone...

and it will end for someone one else.



[Edited 1/12/2018 10:46:14 PM ]

1/12/2018 11:21:16 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

stratus55
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,947)
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017


i pray falcons win,an they will,and saints lose..i hope.......i,ll never understand how anyone could live in that rotten putrid town,i was hopin theyd bulldoze after katrina came through..but they couldnt wait to get back to being a sodom,an gomorrah type place,even on sour poverty and rotten ground...tragic..they dont deserve a football team......like livin inside a dumpster of heat an humidity.......

1/13/2018 12:39:51 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

DoofusExtremus
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,794)
San Antonio, TX
48, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from sigier:
It ends when you finally realise what you want most and make the proper adjustments to acquire it.

This.



When you are busy 14 hours a day, you really don't have time to be anything but a hermit.
Sometimes you need to work 14 hour days, but you want to work toward a schedule that actually allows time for going out on a date.
Stability and normalcy in your own life should be first priority (as much as is possible) -and then be certain other things do not throw everything out of balance.
Unfortunately, relationships often do just that, and it is easy to forget about your own needs when seeking someone else. People often have to rebuild their entire life when a relationship ends.
After doing this a few times, they become exhausted.
It is not easy to have a lifelong healthy relationship these days, so it is a good idea to secure your own future and situation. I'm not saying plan for the relationship to fail, just plan to be stable no matter what happens. Feeling good about your accomplishments and situation can also give you more confidence.

Moving house/relocating and an end to a serious relationship are two of the greatest causes of stress.

As for talking to someone you like.... Just don't think about liking them -and just talk to them. Say good morning if you happen to see them. Comment about something if the opportunity arises, etc., etc.
See how things go. The direct approach can be awkward if you work with the person.

1/13/2018 4:56:55 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


I like how people make out that working 14 hours a day is a choice. For some it's to survive. Sometimes you have to work with what you currently have.

1/13/2018 7:47:00 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from anglicus_femina:
I like how people make out that working 14 hours a day is a choice. For some it's to survive. Sometimes you have to work with what you currently have.



It doesn't matter if its by choice or not...the bottom line is, its not the best conditions to seek a relation with. Working that much, is not going to allow for a relation to manifest or survive.

Its one thing, if a couple has been together for a while, then that happens....plus with people in that situation, its usually not permanent, so wait until you work normal hours again.

Would you "start" dating a guy and you seeking a relation... who works 14 hours a day, knowing on his days or day off, he has to get caught up with what he couldn't get done on those days and really have little or no time for really being together like a normal couple???

Of course you wouldn't.

1/13/2018 8:07:18 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

Bubbl3gum
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
25, joined Feb. 2016


You kinda work too much lol

1/13/2018 8:49:37 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


You don't work at all...and never did and never will.

A forum or the net, is all you have and ever will have.

That sucks huh?

1/13/2018 9:15:46 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

Bubbl3gum
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
25, joined Feb. 2016


(this post has been flagged as inappropriate, sorry.)

1/13/2018 9:19:17 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

DoofusExtremus
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,794)
San Antonio, TX
48, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from anglicus_femina:
I like how people make out that working 14 hours a day is a choice. For some it's to survive. Sometimes you have to work with what you currently have.


True, but what you currently have does not necessarily allow for what you want, so you make changes as possible.

Sometimes your mind does the math without you realizing it.
Shyness is a consideration, but reluctance can also be rooted in the subconscious realizing that a relationship would be very difficult under present circumstances -or that we are not in the position we would like to be in our own lives to begin a relationship and show another who we really are -even if we do not consciously realize it.

Unstable, disordered or difficult circumstances puts a strain on relationships. One's situation and circumstances are also part of the overall package another person would consider when deciding to be with them.
That is not to say two people in any circumstances can not make things work together, but you might as well do it now -because it is the same stuff you would need to do later to simplify your life and make allowances for a healthy relationship.

1/13/2018 9:30:47 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


Quote from DoofusExtremus:
True, but what you currently have does not necessarily allow for what you want, so you make changes as possible.

Sometimes your mind does the math without you realizing it.
Shyness is a consideration, but reluctance can also be rooted in the subconscious realizing that a relationship would be very difficult under present circumstances -or that we are not in the position we would like to be in our own lives to begin a relationship and show another who we really are -even if we do not consciously realize it.

Unstable, disordered or difficult circumstances puts a strain on relationships. One's situation and circumstances are also part of the overall package another person would consider when deciding to be with them.
That is not to say two people in any circumstances can not make things work together, but you might as well do it now -because it is the same stuff you would need to do later to simplify your life and make allowances for a healthy relationship.


But I think the OP finds being around men awkward. For some of the ladies that is true.

I think also sometimes you have to work up to things. I look at the OP's posting. It's easy not to be awkward online with the opposite sex. In reality it's very different. Especially, when your not a social butterfly. A lot people meet through friends or friends of friends. As you get older this changes when they settle down as well.

If anything I've found partners are very motivating. Especially when you are both on the same page working towards something.

I think she perhaps needs a little more confidence.. that's all.

1/13/2018 11:57:22 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from Bubbl3gum:
You do know I was a bar tender right? Lmao idiot.


I know in your mind you think you were a bartender.


But, there's a big difference between fantasy and reality.

1/13/2018 3:17:40 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

DoofusExtremus
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,794)
San Antonio, TX
48, joined Jan. 2015


Quote from anglicus_femina:
But I think the OP finds being around men awkward. For some of the ladies that is true.

I think also sometimes you have to work up to things. I look at the OP's posting. It's easy not to be awkward online with the opposite sex. In reality it's very different. Especially, when your not a social butterfly. A lot people meet through friends or friends of friends. As you get older this changes when they settle down as well.

If anything I've found partners are very motivating. Especially when you are both on the same page working towards something.

I think she perhaps needs a little more confidence.. that's all.


Could be.

1/13/2018 3:49:38 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

DoofusExtremus
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,794)
San Antonio, TX
48, joined Jan. 2015


I really don't know anything about her -just posting things for consideration.

1/13/2018 8:51:41 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

lareveur
Over 2,000 Posts (2,919)
Clinton, TN
34, joined May. 2013


Quote from bumblebee7:
OP...to be honest after reading enough of your threads, you sound like someone who has to have someone romantically entangled in your life, like all the time.

One relation to another, as soon as one ends...find another...etc.

Enough of us has been there I suppose too....but its great to get to the point that's not necessary and you just enjoy life as is, till a right person just comes along...whenever.

The other thing is...if a person works that much, they really don't have the time for a relation, too many compromises about not being able to be together enough with enough quality time.


If you read my posts from the beginning, you would have noticed I never dated any man (or had any interest in doing so) for going on ten years, now (before my latest ex). He (my ex) just broke my ten year hermit habit, then refused to treat me like an official girlfriend for two years (aside from routine words, such as: "I love you" and not much else). We never did achieved anything physical at all. So no - I'm not depressed that I am single, lol. Being alone even lifted me out of my depression a bit...
I'm depressed that my shyness has now reached such levels that I am even uncomfortable with contacting old friends of mine back in California... let alone a man I am actually interested in, here. So, I am depressed at how it paralyzes me... it makes my life feel like a trap.
My new job also makes me feel isolated and paralyzed, because even though the pay is decent - I have no time to enjoy anything. I work 12 - 14 hours a day, six days a week. We even worked seven days a week for two weeks in a row... and that's NOT including the 45 minute walk both from my home and back from work... in 14 degree winter. There was only one day where we worked from 6AM to 1AM at night (because one of the trucks we were waiting for broke down). After my 45 minute walk, I only had three hours of sleep before I had to be back at work again by 6:00. I was so tired when I got home, that I forgot to do laundry, so yeah - that was fun, lol.
But coffee solves everything - from quitting smoking, to convincing your body that you had 16 hours of sleep lol.

This is me right now, writing back to you on my computer, lol...


1/13/2018 9:09:11 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
gtfoveryourself
Over 1,000 Posts (1,839)
Washington, DC
53, joined Nov. 2017
online now!


Awww, you need a long hug

1/14/2018 6:59:22 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from lareveur:
If you read my posts from the beginning, you would have noticed I never dated any man (or had any interest in doing so) for going on ten years, now (before my latest ex). He (my ex) just broke my ten year hermit habit, then refused to treat me like an official girlfriend for two years (aside from routine words, such as: "I love you" and not much else). We never did achieved anything physical at all. So no - I'm not depressed that I am single, lol. Being alone even lifted me out of my depression a bit...
I'm depressed that my shyness has now reached such levels that I am even uncomfortable with contacting old friends of mine back in California... let alone a man I am actually interested in, here. So, I am depressed at how it paralyzes me... it makes my life feel like a trap.
My new job also makes me feel isolated and paralyzed, because even though the pay is decent - I have no time to enjoy anything. I work 12 - 14 hours a day, six days a week. We even worked seven days a week for two weeks in a row... and that's NOT including the 45 minute walk both from my home and back from work... in 14 degree winter. There was only one day where we worked from 6AM to 1AM at night (because one of the trucks we were waiting for broke down). After my 45 minute walk, I only had three hours of sleep before I had to be back at work again by 6:00. I was so tired when I got home, that I forgot to do laundry, so yeah - that was fun, lol.
But coffee solves everything - from quitting smoking, to convincing your body that you had 16 hours of sleep lol.

This is me right now, writing back to you on my computer, lol...


I know what that's like....once I worked for a year straight....nearly 100 hours a week....for the purpose of straightening out my credit. I was young and over stretched it...and didn't want to lose it.

but, that's my point. If there isn't enough time for a relation, then why bother with it?


Hey...I do read your post, but maybe got confused with one of them....it just seemed like you were going from one relation, to trying to find another one too fast. I've done it before and it was a mistake.

anyway...I do hope things get better with you....

1/14/2018 8:45:55 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

Bubbl3gum
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
25, joined Feb. 2016


Quote from bumblebee7:
I know in your mind you think you were a bartender.


But, there's a big difference between fantasy and reality.

No, I worked with my dad and also did Tab and pokies

1/14/2018 8:56:54 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

Bubbl3gum
Thorlákshöfn
Iceland
25, joined Feb. 2016


Quote from lareveur:
We never did achieved anything physical at all.

There is something seriously wrong in the relationship if you aren't sexual or affectionate/romantically inclined in at least the first few dates.
Heck of the last few guys I dated I was sexual with every one of the ones I was into.
Some even licked me on first date and I had sex with another.
Its all about what you are willing to tolerate. If they aren't showing sexual intimacy at all, when you want them to, tell em to fk off lol

1/14/2018 2:43:18 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
4uijack
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (27,675)
New Port Richey, FL
82, joined Aug. 2013


Quote from lareveur:
If you read my posts from the beginning, you would have noticed I never dated any man (or had any interest in doing so) for going on ten years, now (before my latest ex). He (my ex) just broke my ten year hermit habit, then refused to treat me like an official girlfriend for two years (aside from routine words, such as: "I love you" and not much else). We never did achieved anything physical at all. So no - I'm not depressed that I am single, lol. Being alone even lifted me out of my depression a bit...
I'm depressed that my shyness has now reached such levels that I am even uncomfortable with contacting old friends of mine back in California... let alone a man I am actually interested in, here. So, I am depressed at how it paralyzes me... it makes my life feel like a trap.
My new job also makes me feel isolated and paralyzed, because even though the pay is decent - I have no time to enjoy anything. I work 12 - 14 hours a day, six days a week. We even worked seven days a week for two weeks in a row... and that's NOT including the 45 minute walk both from my home and back from work... in 14 degree winter. There was only one day where we worked from 6AM to 1AM at night (because one of the trucks we were waiting for broke down). After my 45 minute walk, I only had three hours of sleep before I had to be back at work again by 6:00. I was so tired when I got home, that I forgot to do laundry, so yeah - that was fun, lol.
But coffee solves everything - from quitting smoking, to convincing your body that you had 16 hours of sleep lol.

This is me right now, writing back to you on my computer, lol...


It's a crying shame to not use those beautiful lips for what they were designed for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1/15/2018 12:33:45 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


Quote from bumblebee7:
It doesn't matter if its by choice or not...the bottom line is, its not the best conditions to seek a relation with. Working that much, is not going to allow for a relation to manifest or survive.

Its one thing, if a couple has been together for a while, then that happens....plus with people in that situation, its usually not permanent, so wait until you work normal hours again.

Would you "start" dating a guy and you seeking a relation... who works 14 hours a day, knowing on his days or day off, he has to get caught up with what he couldn't get done on those days and really have little or no time for really being together like a normal couple???

Of course you wouldn't.


I dated a guy who lived 3 hours away and we worked very different hours.

If two people are still willing to make that effort to be with the other they will make it work.

Yes people have to make scarifices Bee. But it doesn't seem reasonable to me that being responsible, by working and paying your bills is a reason not to date.

Plenty of people are in that position these days..

1/15/2018 6:34:45 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
404_forum_post
Over 1,000 Posts (1,457)
Can Tho
Viet Nam
43, joined May. 2017


Confidence.

Never allow a bloke to dismantle your confidence.

It's not you it's him.

1/15/2018 8:06:17 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from anglicus_femina:
I dated a guy who lived 3 hours away and we worked very different hours.

If two people are still willing to make that effort to be with the other they will make it work.

Yes people have to make scarifices Bee. But it doesn't seem reasonable to me that being responsible, by working and paying your bills is a reason not to date.

Plenty of people are in that position these days..


I think I've been around long to see people make sacrifices and a whole lot more.

But working 14 hours a day and wanting to start a relation under that condition?

There's a huge difference between working and that.

When you ad all the other responsibilities to that, it doesn't leave enough quality time for something to manifest to, unless the other person is so needy they will accept any conditions.

14 hours a day, plus just 6 hours sleep....takes up 20 of those 24 hours, then you ad showering, eating, driving to and from work...cooking and etc.


and there goes the whole day ...and after a week like that with no possible time to even start dating, except for the weekend, when they have to catch up on everything else they couldn't do during the week....and with whatever time is left over, they just aren't going to want to go anywhere.

What you described was work with no time put on it...that's implies a normal 8 hour shift...and yes, after the dating and a relation or marriage has already manifested, people do sometimes work extra to get caught up, but its not permanent and its after they already have an established relation or marriaqe .

I would not start dating with someone I really don't know yet, if they worked that much and neither would a lot of people. You may not either and for obvious reasons....however its different if it didn't start out that way and the need for it came up for a while later after things were estabished.

but, that's not the situation of the op now is it?

1/15/2018 8:08:34 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

sadlsticsienna
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,366)
New South Wales
Australia
25, joined Jan. 2016


Working 14hr days there is no actual time for a relationship lol

1/15/2018 9:54:06 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (290,202)
Assumption, IL
69, joined May. 2010


It gets better when one (1), even one, stands up, stands strong, faces the dragon, holds the stance, protects the line, states the truth, holds their feet to fire, and doesn't back down. It gets better!

1/15/2018 10:31:40 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

DoofusExtremus
Over 7,500 Posts!! (7,794)
San Antonio, TX
48, joined Jan. 2015


Just don't ask me to do all that at once.

1/15/2018 10:38:31 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

stratus55
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,947)
Jackson, GA
52, joined Jan. 2017


cheer is right,most women are very weak,an afraid of everyone,an why there here i dont know,maybe curious,or to hide,an be mean from behind a computer........

1/16/2018 6:42:05 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
_april67
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,406)
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2017


Many do not date from this site & are just here to post in the forums & post with/keep in touch with friends on here.

1/16/2018 9:42:43 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
cavie59
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (20,203)
Enid, OK
58, joined Feb. 2010


It does get better. I know that it has gotten better for me. I stopped looking and she found me.

1/16/2018 10:47:23 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


Quote from bumblebee7:
I think I've been around long to see people make sacrifices and a whole lot more.

But working 14 hours a day and wanting to start a relation under that condition?

There's a huge difference between working and that.

When you ad all the other responsibilities to that, it doesn't leave enough quality time for something to manifest to, unless the other person is so needy they will accept any conditions.

14 hours a day, plus just 6 hours sleep....takes up 20 of those 24 hours, then you ad showering, eating, driving to and from work...cooking and etc.


and there goes the whole day ...and after a week like that with no possible time to even start dating, except for the weekend, when they have to catch up on everything else they couldn't do during the week....and with whatever time is left over, they just aren't going to want to go anywhere.

What you described was work with no time put on it...that's implies a normal 8 hour shift...and yes, after the dating and a relation or marriage has already manifested, people do sometimes work extra to get caught up, but its not permanent and its after they already have an established relation or marriaqe .

I would not start dating with someone I really don't know yet, if they worked that much and neither would a lot of people. You may not either and for obvious reasons....however its different if it didn't start out that way and the need for it came up for a while later after things were estabished.

but, that's not the situation of the op now is it?


These are not your circumstances Bee. They are the OP's and I would bet money within today's society there are men in the very same position as she is in. Women are more vocal in expression.

If you think being your age makes a difference. It does not, the OP is younger than you therefore has more time to work on her situation. I am not referencing her employment situation either.

Majority of people dating one person sees them on average once a week. You then have cell phones as well to keep communicating and get to know each other. The OP is talking about dating. Like in every relationship you form it takes compromise and honesty.

I'm glad you're so fortunate to be so picky that you can date as much as you want, with who you want. Whenever you want. Now, if the OP was a gold digger, which clearly she is not. Majority of the men on this site would complain about that also.Some of you have got to the point where you will find any excuse not to date in your own arrogance.

I say this, screw it OP. You have ever reason to date. But I would suggest working on trying to start up a conversation first.

1/16/2018 2:53:22 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

driver406
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (59,740)
Saint Paul, MN
66, joined Oct. 2009


NOPE! This is as good as it gets, OPIE!

YOU wanted to be absolutely and positively 1 billion percent completely independent of all men and maybe the reality doesn't fit your fantasy. ENJOY!

1/16/2018 6:32:38 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

lucky_1million
Over 2,000 Posts (2,166)
Pewaukee, WI
51, joined Jun. 2013


I think it will get better when the weather gets warmer.



1/16/2018 9:12:13 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 

bumblebee7
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (77,292)
Fort Payne, AL
62, joined Apr. 2011


Quote from anglicus_femina:
These are not your circumstances Bee. They are the OP's and I would bet money within today's society there are men in the very same position as she is in. Women are more vocal in expression.

If you think being your age makes a difference. It does not, the OP is younger than you therefore has more time to work on her situation. I am not referencing her employment situation either.

Majority of people dating one person sees them on average once a week. You then have cell phones as well to keep communicating and get to know each other. The OP is talking about dating. Like in every relationship you form it takes compromise and honesty.

I'm glad you're so fortunate to be so picky that you can date as much as you want, with who you want. Whenever you want. Now, if the OP was a gold digger, which clearly she is not. Majority of the men on this site would complain about that also.Some of you have got to the point where you will find any excuse not to date in your own arrogance.

I say this, screw it OP. You have ever reason to date. But I would suggest working on trying to start up a conversation first.



You know good and well, that if you read a profile that stated that he worked 14 hours a day....that you would move on.

End of story.

Its different when you have been together and developed love and a relation, and then that happens.

Well...that's not the case here is it.

1/16/2018 11:08:07 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
Valyria
Over 1,000 Posts (1,577)
Apolinario SaraviaMilan
Italy
45, joined Sep. 2017


When Does It Ever Get Better?

When you're dead.

1/16/2018 11:14:24 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
TatiLuvs
Detroit, MI
36, joined Dec. 2017


^^^^

I cant wait.

1/16/2018 11:18:16 PMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
Valyria
Over 1,000 Posts (1,577)
Apolinario SaraviaMilan
Italy
45, joined Sep. 2017


Matt? Pink suits you.

1/17/2018 1:28:53 AMWhen Does It Ever Get Better? 
anglicus_femina
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,984)
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
43, joined May. 2016


Quote from bumblebee7:
You know good and well, that if you read a profile that stated that he worked 14 hours a day....that you would move on.

End of story.

Its different when you have been together and developed love and a relation, and then that happens.

Well...that's not the case here is it.


Actually no Bee, would you say no to a woman who was in the forces? Or someone who travelled for work.

So don't be telling me what I would and would not do. I never saw my ex for weeks. I was engaged to him. But I spoke to him all the time.

Your life is your life. You don't write others stories. Just your own.

You've lost sight.